They may be telling their spouse that it was a 3-month long affair which entailed having sex just 4 times What I’ve learned is that’s exactly what I needed. I needed to learn the vulnerability of talking about those areas of brokenness and need in my life. For me, that’s where healing started. Instead of avoiding that stuff, I needed to be with it, sit with it, have conversations about it. But it took me a while to get there.